Ninjas of the Pirate Sea!
by Kenshin Akagi
Summary: Madara, Zetsu, and Obito wake up on a raft with a straw hat boy on it. After killing the boy, Madara still has to deal with Zetsu's cannibalism and Obito's insistence on being Tobi and crying for Rin. Will he survive?
1. Chapter 1

_**Ninjas of the Pirate Sea!**_

_**A/N: Hey guys! Just writing this as a sort of side-project.**_

Madara woke up on a raft, holding his head. He had hangovers before, but this felt like a Rasengan busted his head open. As Madara regained his surroundings, he heard the most annoying voice ever heard begin talking.

"Hey! You are you guys?! Why'd you land in my boat?!" The boy speaking appeared young, with a scar under one of his eyes and he was wearing the most horrible Straw Hat ever made. Madara groaned, and looked to his side. Obito was there, and so was Zetsu. Strange...Zetsu seemed to have both of his sides back. Madara glared at he speaker, and looked out of the raft. They were in the ocean, and the raft was starting to feel cramped. Madara looked over to Zetsu.

"Zetsu...are you hungry?"

"Yes, Madara-Sama."

"Eat up. I want this vessel, and the boy is taking up...space."

"Yes, Madara-Sama." Zetsu began stepping towards the boy who raised his fist in the air.

"So you guys are pirates?! Well too bad, cause I'm gonna be the King of Pirates! Gum Gum Pistol!" Madara watched as the boy sent a punch at him. Madara's eyes widened in surprise as the boy's arm stretched. The punch was surprisingly strong, but Madara's face didn't move.

"Did you really think that would hurt? Zetsu, eat." Zetsu jumped at the boy, and in a few seconds nothing was left but the strong hat. "Well, that's a lot more comfortable. Wouldn't you agree, Obito?"

Obito looked at Madara, and put on his Tobi mask. "I failed them...I failed Rin, Madara-Sama...I can't live with myself...from now on...I am Tobi! Oh, and let me keep the hat." Tobi grabbed the hat and placed it on his head.

Madara sighed, and used his Wood Release to begin rowing. This was going to be a long journey...

_**A/N: Yes, Zetsu killed Luffy. This entire series is just going to be what comes off the top of my head.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Ninjas of the Pirate Sea! _**

**_A/N: Alright, we last left our heroes on Luffys raft. What will happen next?_**

Obito- or as he was now known, Tobi- looked at the pirates holding them captive from behind his mask. He still didn't understand why Madara had let them become captured; these pirates could barely fight, and it would've taken just a few hand seals to kill them. They had been forced to kneel in front of a really fat lady who demanded that they call her beautiful. Tobi gladly began speaking. "Tobi believes you are beautiful as the moon!" Tobi smiled, as he realized the lady had no knowledge of the moon being nothing more than a prison for the Ten-Tails.

As the fat lady began to speak, Tobi interrupted her. "But you are not the most beautiful, as Rin-Chan is the cutest in the world!"

"Rin? Just the name sounds ugly! I am Iron Mace Alvida, and none are more beautiful than I!" Tobi looked at the fat lady, and pushed away the guards around him. He calmly took off his mask as Madara and Zetsu killed the guards. Obito rushed forward, kicked Alvida and her pink-haired lackey off the ship, and saw Madara head to see how to run the ship. Obito put his mask back on, an sighed. It was one thing to be conceited; but NO ONE insults Rin.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Ninjas of the Pirate Sea! _**

**_A/N: Time for the first part of the Recruiting Zoro biz. _**

Zetsu was hungry. He didn't know why Madara-Sama decided to sail the ocean on fat lady boat. Madara-Sama had tried to name it something other than the Miss Love Duck, but couldn't think of anything suitable. Zetsu kept suggesting fat lady boat, as all he could smell was the fat lady, but Madara-Sama went against the idea. Zetsu thought that maybe Madara-Sama didn't know where they were. So far he'd seen not a single person use their chakra. Everyone had the chakra level of civilians, a fact Madara-Sama was probably aware of. Madara-Sama was probably planning to use their jutsus to force everyone in this world of weirdos into working for him, than destroy the Shinobi that had ruined their great plan.

Zetsu could hear Tobi in his room, muttering. Zetsu phased through the wooden door, and saw Tobi shaking in a fetal position carrying a picture of what appeared to be a girl. Tobi kept muttering, "Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy..." Zetsu felt that this situation was absolutely not an indicator of Tobi's rapidly declining mental health and went back to Madara-Sama.

Madara-Sama broke the silence. "Zetsu. Get...Tobi...and let's go. We'll be docking soon, and then we can find a real ship." Zetsu nodded and went back to Tobi's room. Zetsu poked the emo on the shoulder. Tobi appeared to glare at him, before setting the picture underneath his Akatsuki uniform and left with Zetsu.

As the three shinobi walked into the town, a little girl accidentally walked into Zetsu. Zetsu looked at her. She was cute, and she had a plate of Rice Balls. As the girl began apologizing, Zetsu ate the rice balls. The girl began complaining, saying that they were for someone special.

She was a great dish to wash down those sugary Rice Balls.

The three shinobi continued walking in town, as they saw a massive statue being brought up onto a large building. Madara-Sama glared at it, before speaking. "Hn. Like they deserve a statue. **Amaterasu." **Zetsu watched in awe as the statue was enveloped in black flames, as the people hoisting it up were being burned as well. Tobi began jumping up and down.

"Hoo, Madara-San, Zetsu, let's go see a closer look!" Madara nodded his head at Tobi, one side of his mouth just slightly raised. It was obvious he found the entire burning of the statue as funny. As Zetsu quickly ate a few dogs and yet another little girl (This was starting to become a great town, as no one seemed bothered by the fact a half black half white plant man was eating their children), the three shinobi came to their stop, grinning at the 'do not enter sign.' Madara-Sama kicked open the gate, his Gunbai ready, as the weird men in caps attacked the three elite.

_**A/N: Don't you just love Zetsu? I figured their roles out pretty well for this. Madara relies more on the dry humour type of thing. Sarcasm and shit. Zetsu is more of the psychotic type. He just ate two kids and a few animals. Obito, or Tobi, as he is now called, relies more on being such a massive Butt monkey. Next Chapter, we meet Axe Hand Morgan and Zoro.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Ninjas of the Pirate Sea!_**

_**AN/ Part 2 of the Zoro recruitment.**_

Madara was happy. He would finally get the chance to relieve himself of all the anger that had been festering inside him...first he got beat by the Uzumaki brat, and instead of getting free in death, the shinigami decided to stick him with a cannibal and that stupid Tobi!

Madara swung his Gunbai, destroying a wave of marines. He saw Zetsu eat a few of them, as Tobi kicked a large man with an axe-hand into the air. Madara slammed a marine into a wall, and stared at him with his Sharingan flaring. "You. Weakling. Who is the strongest in this base?"

The Marine had tears in his eyes. "Axe-Hand Morgan! But your masked friend just beat him in one blow!" Madara stared at the man for a few seconds, before nodding. "You may leave now."

The marine began running, as Madara looked at him. "And by leave, I mean burn to death. _Amaterasu_!" The marine caught in black flames, screaming the entire time. Tobi came back with a green haired man who looked starved, tossing him to Madara. "Hey Madara-chan! Tobi found a swordsman! Can we keep it?!"

The man glared at Tobi. "Don't talk like I'm some pet. I'm Roronoa Zoro, and I hunt Pirates like you three. I'm never going to join your little crew of weirdos."

Madara looked at Tobi and Zoro, thinking. He could just kill Zoro for shits and giggles, but then Tobi would start whining even more, and might kill himself...and while Madara would be glad to be rid of Tobi's whining, he'd be forced to deal with just Zetsu all day...

"Well, Zoro, we could leave you here..." Tobi frowned at Madara behind his mask. "However, when marines come to check on this base, and they find you, they'll think you did this by yourself and they'll execute you! So, you have two choices. Join my crew, or stay here and die."

Zoro looked thoughtful for a minute. "Fine. I'll be your first mate, than."

Madara shook his head. "No. Zetsu is my first mate. Tobi is...Tobi? You'll be cabin boy."

"But-"

"CABIN BOY." Madara glared at him with his Sharingan flaring. Zoro gulped and nodded.

"Good. Zetsu, bring Zoro and Tobi and go steal a good ship. I'm going to terrorize the town for a bit."

"Yes, Madara-Sama."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Ninjas of the Pirate Sea!**_

_**A/N. Anyone know a good site for reading One Piece on? I'm kinda going off the top of my head from what I remember of the anime.**_

**__**Madara and crew stepped onto a marine ship, where Tobi immediately ran to find a dark secluded room. Madara shook his head. Maybe he should find a woman so that Tobi would recover? Madara put the thought from his mind as he noticed the cabin boy approach him. "What do you want, Cabin Boy?"

Zoro shook his head, and glared at Madara. "Look, I don't want to be a part of your crew. You're a dick, that Tobi kid ripped his own arm, yelled something about Rin, and then put it back on! And that plant guy keeps licking his lips and trying to spray me with mustard." The second after he said this, he ducked as yet another shot of mustard sailed over his head.

Madara sent a quick glare at Zetsu. '_Really? Mustard? He should be using Ketchup...' _Madara scowled at Zoro. "Look, You're stuck here. I am NOT going to be stuck with Tobi and Zetsu by myself! Now start cleaning ALL the cabins. Using only your swords, of course."

As the swordsmen walked away grumbling, Zetsu entered the room once more. "Madara-Sama, we have a problem with Tobi."

"Again, Zetsu, Tobi can't kill himself by slitting his wrists. Maybe. Probably..."

"No, Madara-Sama, Tobi jumped onto a giant bird. He shouted 'Rin! It's you!'. So..."

Madara slammed his face against the wall, a move he had learned from Itachi. "Damn...time to look for a retard..."


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: Hello,every**_**_one_****!**_** Newest chapter, where Tobi meet the Pirate thief Nami! **_

**Pirates of the Ninja Sea! Ch. 6 **

Tobi was caught in the beak of a giant bird. He had thought the bird was Rin, but that was prove false when it clamped hold of him. He took it in stride, at least until they flew over a young woman surrounded by pirates. '_Time to be a_ hero!'

"WHHHHEEEEE! I'M TOBI!" Tobi punched the bird in the gut, causing it to drop in between the pirates. Surprisingly, the wind was blowing as he landed, causing his Akatsuki coat to flutter in the wind. The woman looked at him with stars in her eyes. "Hey Boss! Now that you're here, I'll leave them to you!"

Wow, boss? Tobi smiled under his mask. That meant he was important! Yay! Tobi saw her running away, so he kicked the nearest pirate in the nuts, then did a round house kick to the other two. Tobi teleported in front of her using his Kamui. "Hi! I'm Tobi! I'm a Good Boy! Who are you? Are you a Good Boy too?!" Nami started to slowly step away. Tobi assumed he was just to awesome for her to be around. He noticed she seemed to be tensing to run, and than saw the paper in her hand. Tobi grabbed the paper before she noticed, and saw a map. "What are these?! Squiggles?!" Nami looked between Tobi and her hand, finally noticing the map was gone. She made a move for the map, only for Tobi to skip out of the way.

"Hey! Wanna join my crew?!" Tobi looked at her through the hole in his mask, trying to convey all the happy emotions he could. Sadly, he forgot he had the Sharingan, and ended up knocking her out. Tobi shrugged, picked her up, than began skipping away.

* * *

Madara and Zetsu were riding along in their marine ship, when they saw three pirates in the water. Instead of bringing them on board, Zetsu simply ate them. Madara cracked his knuckles as he saw land in the distance. "Zetsu, prepare the body bags. We're going Tobi hunting." Zetsu nodded, and brought out several grocery bags. Madara stared for a few seconds, before rubbing his head. It was best not to think about it...


End file.
